It’s been over three weeks since the WTC atrocity, and I’m still trying to sort out my feelings about it. I mean, besides the obvious: outrage, sadness, fear. Overt flag-waving patriotism has always scared me a little, although I’m feeling it myself these days. I printed some American flags from my computer, and have stuck them in various places, like my car window. Partly, this is in response to a conversation with a friend of mine, a peacenik sort, who maybe thinks we can love our enemies, I don’t know. I found myself getting rather fed up with his line of reasoning and decided then and there to go get a flag. Except they are impossible to find right now. So I printed some.

I’m wracking my brain, wondering if I can remember ever seeing the rampant paranoia that’s gripping the nation right now. I’m not saying a little paranoia isn’t justified, but it just seems so odd in this post-cold war world. I guess, until Sept. 11th, I thought those days were over. I’ve lost count of the number of discussions I’ve heard on NPR just this week regarding chemical and biological warfare, and whether or not Arab racial profiling is justified. There’s talk of not having all the seats of government concentrated in one city, to reduce their vulnerability. Not to mention limiting skyscrapers to under 50 stories. These discussions would have been unthinkable less than a month ago, regarded as paranoid delusional; now, nothing is off the table. The more fantastic the scenario, the more credibility it seems to have. It’s human nature to somehow see a progression of events, but when the trigger event is of this magnitude, the logical “next step” is nothing short of catastrophic. Of course, the WTC event was nothing short of catastrophic. One shudders to imagine an even worse event…but that’s what the mind wraps itself around, that possibility. I think of all the disaster movies rendered tame by the reality of Sept. 11th. New disaster movies will have to be really over the top to hold anyone’s attention. Bruce Willis was dealing with unruly kindergartners compared to the WTC. Now, nothing short of nuclear war will do. Does anyone want to watch that?

A hesitant sort of humor is trying to make a bit of a comeback. Late-night comedians are treading carefully in the minefield of political correctness. The Onion is getting back in the satire biz. Our strange culture is starting to re-emerge, though the First Amendment is taking a beating in some quarters, and some of the more depraved aspects of it seem so utterly banal. Celebrity worship in particular just seems disgusting. Who are these people, and what have they done to merit one one-thousandth the recognition of a NYC firefighter? Paraded their stupid political views before a rapt nation on the Academy Awards show? Personally saved a rainforest? Gack, I’m sicker of them than ever. And the tabloids are even worse, bleating on as if anyone gave a flying fig. Osama Bin Laden is just another wacko, right up there with Michael Jackson. Probably abused as a child. He just needs a little love.

Jessica’s school had a patriotism rally today. Can you imagine that? She was feverishly working on a poster for it last night. I have such mixed feelings about all this. Pride, yes, but also sadness, for the world my daughter will now find herself growing up in. A more cautious, fearful world, where people eye each other suspiciously, and everyday life is imbued with a certain solemn gravity. We will come to miss the halcyon days, when irony was fashionable, cynicism merely an alternative viewpoint, satire seemed appropriate. All changed, in one day.

Kellogg Forest is extraordinary this time of year.

We’ve been enjoying some fine Indian Summer weather.

I’ve got the worst case of hay fever I’ve ever had. I never used to have allergies. Immune system going to hell, I guess.

Those fricking terrorists really messed it up for more respectable hijackers, who are never again going to be able to commandeer a plane anywhere. Once on the ground, officials will of course not let it take off again, on the theory that a plane full of dead passengers is better than a plane crashing into a skyscraper. The whole science of how to deal with a hijacking situation is now out the window.

What’s with Bill Clinton going around trying to cover his ass for whatever responsibility he might have had in creating the conditions that led to the WTC attack? I’m not pointing any fingers, but there must be some sense of guilt operating here.

On second thought, Clinton has no conscience, so it must just be the usual political opportunism. Weasel.